In romantic relationships, communication is vital to maintaining satisfaction and success. When trying to accomplish a particular goal in that relationship, such as producing a baby, communication is even more important. Keeping in touch with your partner on an emotional level through nonsexual and sexual communication becomes paramount when you are trying to conceive.
Nonsexual communication is listening and speaking to your partner about your needs, thoughts, and feelings. Sexual communication is listening and speaking to your partner about your sexual needs, thoughts, and feelings. It is important to maintain a high level of both forms of communication with your partner.
When fertility problems occur in a relationship, it can be really easy to retreat and close yourself off to your partner. This is particularly likely to happen if one partner feels they are to blame for the problems with conception. It will take a lot of work to stay open with each other emotionally and sexually, but doing so will keep your relationship intact through the tough time you're both experiencing.
Most likely the scariest communication tactic of all is asking for what we want. The partner with whom you are trying to conceive with should know what you want, so as difficult as it may be, you'll need to communicate that with them. The only way to get what you want is to ask for it, and the best way to become a better lover to your partner is to ask them what it is they want and go from there.
In trying to become more open with communication about sex, there is an activity you and your partner can try:
- Make a list of all of the sexual activities that anyone, not just you, would potentially participate in and write them down.
- Collaborate with each other on making the list as complete as you can.
- Make two copies of the list and each of you write "yes," "no," or "maybe" beside each of the activities that you have both listed, indicating what you would be willing to try and what is out of the question.
- Then compare your list and you may be surprised at the similarities or differences in your preferences.
This activity will help you open up and get more comfortable to talk to your partner about your sexual relationship, and it will hopefully spice up your sex life in the process.
Open and honest communication can help you get through any problem. Overcoming the communication barriers with your partner, especially if you have been trying to conceive for some time, may be hard work. However, if you continue to communicate openly with your partner, keep your core relationship strong, and focus on keeping your sexual life healthy through the fertility process, your sex life will be unharmed from the process.
Author: Kristen Mark
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